Off the boat

Fresh off the boat. The word is used to identify immigrants that have come from a foreign country and have yet to adapt to the society, language, and actions of the host nation, but persist with their ethnic ideas and traditions. A term I was called when I went to an American school. Though I didn’t feel the prejudice after my first year, there was already a scar of judgment. I didn’t notice it at first but that scar also taught me how to adapt which became my personality after masking for so long.

I did enjoy the two years of me being in the school due to the friends I made along the way and how I learned about different cultures. This fact made me open-minded in regards to the mannerisms of other people. In Mr. Samson’s case, he “enjoyed every moment of my life here in the country and I do not regret my decision coming here” which I could say so myself. What made the first few days were the fellow Filipino students that helped me cope with the new environment. As for Ms. Dañez’ situation, she learned that “Things can be very different. I embraced it and sort of adapted to it. I used to be so nervous, but I had warm welcomes.”

The change between the worlds was a complicated aspect of it. People, time management, and habits have improved. During my first year, I had to focus on my Filipino peers to teach me social manners that would encourage me to fit in. Mr. Samson shared the stress through a transition where he “ felt like everything was out of my comfort zone. I was living alone for the first time in a country outside of my nation.”It was the feeling of being an outsider for a time where you don't even know if they're talking to you because you can't understand their language, which was also an obstacle. Ms. Dañez found out that “it was different here in Canada as even young teenagers started to work and save up for their tuition in a university or college. It influenced me that I had to find a part-time job and taught me how to support myself financially.“

After I graduated, I had to move back here to the Philippines. I had to go through the same process of adapting and relearning social cues to fit in again. During the first few months of me in Malayan Colleges Laguna, people took notice of an accent that I unknowingly had. I asked my now current friends what they thought of me before and most of the time they would say that I was “intimidating to some level” just because I mainly spoke English which I still do now.

I currently live by myself because I told my family that it’s best for me to learn adulthood during my college years alone but this pandemic made it more difficult. The sudden realization that I can only depend on myself to do all of the adult work scared me. I have the current experience with Ms. Dañez where we “had to take on responsibilities that I never had before such as paying taxes, signing documents for security, paying apartment fees monthly to my landlord, finding part-time jobs as an international student, and other ‘adult’ responsibilities.” Mr. Denver also faced the same responsibilities where he “ began to face challenges that would have been easier with a family such as getting sick, paying taxes, fixing legal documents, moving out to a new apartment on my own, and various things that made it a hurdle for a single person with a huge language barrier to adapt to.”

It took me half a year just to fit in and relearn how to socialize in a different way and environment. Mr. Samson believed that “It took a month for me to adjust my habits and mindset to the country and approximately 6 months to fully feel comfortable with my living conditions.” Adapting to new surroundings depends on how familiar we are with the different aspects of it. As for Ms. Dañez, she said that it took her “Quite a while to adapt, and up until this day I still am trying to adapt. People here are direct, open-minded, and would even greet me any time of the day despite myself being a stranger to them.”

Although the two years in the American school shaped my personality before I came here to the Philippines, I am still glad that my current circle taught me many things that I was not aware of before. Life in Abu Dhabi was safe however, it was almost like we were sheltered too much to the point where there was a culture shock when I came back here. I was exposed to a mature reality where not everything is carefree and that there many issues present in today's society.

Due to the current pandemic, we can’t help but reminisce the times outside with our friends and families but for people who used to live in a different country, it hits differently. There is a longing for places you used to go to and spend time in. In Mr. Samson’s case “For the first few weeks, I arrived in the country, I had doubts about coming here and felt a strong surge of homesickness” which I also experienced coming here. There would be moments where you would regret your decision because it is a bit terrifying being in a different environment and it affects your personality greatly. Ms. Dañez said that she does “miss my previous homes. I made a couple of friends who I open up to and still chat with them until this day despite the distance between us. I miss my little brother who is residing in the Philippines, my father who is working very hard for the family in the place where I was born, the Middle East (Dubai).”

With all those being said, it is still a nice experience being in our current homes. The new circles and memories made the culture shock bearable. Having to adapt to a new environment allows your personality to grow better and mature. Even though I live alone, I am happy to live here in the Philippines because it changed me as a person. For Ms. Dañez, she is happy living her life in Canada. She said that she “can at least be independent and be able to support myself a little bit. I am still learning a lot and the improvement is large. I’m happy that I stepped afoot over here in the borders of Canada”. In the case of Mr. Samson, he said he feels happy being in Japan. He felt that “it has made me achieve so many opportunities, helped me grow as a person, and opened unique experiences that would have been impossible if I had stayed in my home country. The decision to stay here has been one of the best choices I have ever made in my life so far and I hope to continue being happy with my life here” which I am also experiencing being in the Philippines.

Having to go through culture shock is a vivid experience. The need to learn social cues, how to interact with people differently, and how to live in a different environment takes a toll on one’s personality. But that also makes it fun because change makes us mature and open to new opportunities. We might be off the boat but our personalities will always have a bit of home.